Yikes!!!

[silver_fox_ninja]

My neighbor did the strangest thing today. He seems to think that it's cool to walk out of the house in boxer shorts in 40 degree weather. He's kinda pot-bellied and he thinks that he's all that, but in reality, he's pretty gross. 

Ahh life in the trailer park. NOT!! I hate it here. There are a lot of things that I would rather be doing with my life other than sit around and do nothing by watch broadbacks. 

My hip has been killing me lately and there is little for me to do other than work on Whisper. Oh by the way, he he he, there is a really big change in the story. 

Shauna gets hooked up!! She's the secondary character in Whisper. I'm not telling the details yet, but she really likes him. (it's not Seto) 

All of the changes that have been made in the story, I think, is better the second time around. I eliminated the Mary-Sues, and I changed the story around a little bit. I added Alister, if only in referance by name only, but I plan to add him in later. 

Oh man, where to start. I had to change the party sequence a little because there was too much chaos in it. I also had to censor some of the words too. The paintball scene was simply too harsh. 

Seto may seem a bit emo in some of the story, but there is a reason for that. Mokuba has been his biggest supporter and so has Roland. It was also brought to my attention that the honorifics that are used in Japan needed to be added some, which they are. I thank Pearl for that. 

I deleted a lot of things that just seemed too redundant, and I deleted a few scenes as well. 

Reading some of Pearl's work really got me to thinking about my own writting. It won't compare to hers but I think it's still good.

Comments

[dark-age-pearl.livejournal.com]

eeps! *bashes away ugly mental image of guy in boxers*

If you are going to use honorifics, use the Japanese versions of the names. Otherwise, it kills the effect. Shauna gets hooked up? I'm definitely missing out! I guess I've got a lot to look forward to! XD

And you are too kind! *glomps*

[silverfoxninja.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I sent you the chapter that contains it. I can't remember which one right offhand, but what makes the whole thing so interesting is that Seto begins to realize that he and Duke are in the same boat. It's really complicated to explain here, but I think you'll find it interesting.

I'll let you read it and as soon as I finish revising the chapters, I will be sending them off to you for review and analysis. Then you get to see what is going on. :-)

[dark-age-pearl.livejournal.com]

Whatever the last chapter I left a review on FF is the last one I've read. I need to catch up.

[silverfoxninja.livejournal.com]

It's in the revision and it's also in the later chapters. You reviewed Chapter 8 and that's as far as you got. You'll see. :-)