Moving day is near. . .

[silver_fox_ninja]

It seems that no matter how hard I try to keep everyone happy, I end up slipping and falling flat on my face. It's not just about the comm, but about my whole life in general. I just found out some things and I can't seem to keep anyone from fighting around me. It's driving me near bonkers. 

I haven't posted in a while for a reason. I'm moving to Texas. This is not a drill, this is reality. I'm leaving Kansas for may reasons and to explain them all would be unnecessary. Not only do I feel like I'm working my ass off and no one appreciates a damned thing that I do in my life, the internet is my only escape. I have put forth a lot of effort and it seems that even that too is starting to feel like a failure to me. *sighs* That's my lot in life I suppose. 

Anyway, I'm not avoiding anyone, I've been busy as hell. The comm has suffered due to my absense and I feel that even though I had explained what was going on, it fell upon deaf ears. No matter. I've learned to play by myself. (not a good thing I'll tell ya) 

I know it's only a game, but still, I poured a lot of effort in it. Not only am I being pulled in all sides, I'm geing draged by another and strangeled by the forces that may be. School has started and that brings in another factor, homework. So that means that a lot of game play is going to be limited to the weekends at best. The last arc was just a starter. 

I had seen two emo-like posts in the comm and that made me feel like I was failing somewhere. Pearl and I were only trying to get stuff done so that way there was something to do for those that weren't able to keep up. There were even a couple of actual games to play as well. I'm glad that the entries were made, but at the same time, it did upset me. I can't read minds. 

Well one thing is certain, I'm not making that mistake again. I was a tad bit upset that no one contacted me about the problem. This would have saved a lot of headaches. I did post my email address several times and not a single person used that information. All except for Pearl and Mog. They let me know about some ideas, but that was it. MOG also stated that I made a mistake and she took it directly to me instead of making a post that caused animosity amongst players or any ill feelings otherwise.

That's my rant for the month. I rarely make such posts. I apologize to anyone if they took offense, it wasn't meant for that. I guess I'm more disappointed in myself as a gamer. I should have seen this coming. Yes, I do blame myself for making such an egregious mistake. We were only having fun, and since no one seemed to have objected, we just went with it.

Then I saw the post that one of the players made and that hurt. I was wanting to get as much done as possible and so was Pearl. We had set a deadline because of my moving and Pearl starting school. We weren't trying to rush people into making any comments, we just wanted to get the entries out as soon as we could because I'm not going to be around for a while. All I can say is that I'm sorry for all the trouble that it may have caused for a lot of the gamers, but there wasn't much that we could do to stop the inevitable. 

I'm leaving Kansas in less than three days and we are driving 778.16 miles. So in a matter of speaking, this is going to be the last that anyone will hear from me for a while. 

I don't want anyone upset. I just wanted to make sure that we were clear about certain matters. I will see everyone soon, and it may take a while, so I hope that all goes well with everyone. I'll let everyone know how the trip went and I'll see you on the flipside. 

Oh and I don't blame anyone for changing their fandoms. That does happen. *smiles* It's happened with me. I used to be a big X-Men reader and after Layfield took the title, it started to suck, so I can understand when someone says that it's not working for them anymore, so your safe Lina. *smiles* I understand completely. In fact, I think Kadaj is a hottie. XD I'm just not with that fandom. I used to be when I played the game many years ago. I'm just glad that they made it into a movie.

Comments

[silverfoxninja.livejournal.com]

I understand now. I should have realized that when I started writing Whisper. It's just getting passed all of that that's the hard part.

*hugs* Thanks for the honesty. I appreciate it.

[dark-age-pearl.livejournal.com]

o.O? What does Whisper have to do with it?

[silverfoxninja.livejournal.com]

It's simple. I was doing things to make people happy and I was writting for the same reason. That's how that comes into play. It's this form of stress that has caused me to put a lot of my life on hold because I had to find what that special something was that made me write and do these things for others, and it boiled down to my own happiness.

Once I get settled in, I will finish what I started and I will also post the new updates on the beta work that you did, after you relook at it of course.

[fallenangeldoma.livejournal.com]

I thought this entry was about pleasing others (namely someone who wasn't happy with the comm...), not about fanfics. I guess you meant it in a more general sense.

Yeah, you definitely shouldn't be writing fanfics to please others. You can't be truly happy with your fics if you do that. Drabbles for others, yes, but not whole chapter fics! Especially not one as huge as Whisper! *hugs* I do intend to finish beta'ing for you! ^_^;; Don't worry about that!

[silverfoxninja.livejournal.com]

I'm in no hurry. I have way too much to do at this time, so there is no pressure. Yeah, it was a general statement that I made, but yes, it's along the same lines, just different purposes.