silver_fox_ninja: (Default)
silver_fox_ninja ([personal profile] silver_fox_ninja) wrote2007-09-05 12:59 am

Moving day is near. . .

It seems that no matter how hard I try to keep everyone happy, I end up slipping and falling flat on my face. It's not just about the comm, but about my whole life in general. I just found out some things and I can't seem to keep anyone from fighting around me. It's driving me near bonkers. 

I haven't posted in a while for a reason. I'm moving to Texas. This is not a drill, this is reality. I'm leaving Kansas for may reasons and to explain them all would be unnecessary. Not only do I feel like I'm working my ass off and no one appreciates a damned thing that I do in my life, the internet is my only escape. I have put forth a lot of effort and it seems that even that too is starting to feel like a failure to me. *sighs* That's my lot in life I suppose. 

Anyway, I'm not avoiding anyone, I've been busy as hell. The comm has suffered due to my absense and I feel that even though I had explained what was going on, it fell upon deaf ears. No matter. I've learned to play by myself. (not a good thing I'll tell ya) 

I know it's only a game, but still, I poured a lot of effort in it. Not only am I being pulled in all sides, I'm geing draged by another and strangeled by the forces that may be. School has started and that brings in another factor, homework. So that means that a lot of game play is going to be limited to the weekends at best. The last arc was just a starter. 

I had seen two emo-like posts in the comm and that made me feel like I was failing somewhere. Pearl and I were only trying to get stuff done so that way there was something to do for those that weren't able to keep up. There were even a couple of actual games to play as well. I'm glad that the entries were made, but at the same time, it did upset me. I can't read minds. 

Well one thing is certain, I'm not making that mistake again. I was a tad bit upset that no one contacted me about the problem. This would have saved a lot of headaches. I did post my email address several times and not a single person used that information. All except for Pearl and Mog. They let me know about some ideas, but that was it. MOG also stated that I made a mistake and she took it directly to me instead of making a post that caused animosity amongst players or any ill feelings otherwise.

That's my rant for the month. I rarely make such posts. I apologize to anyone if they took offense, it wasn't meant for that. I guess I'm more disappointed in myself as a gamer. I should have seen this coming. Yes, I do blame myself for making such an egregious mistake. We were only having fun, and since no one seemed to have objected, we just went with it.

Then I saw the post that one of the players made and that hurt. I was wanting to get as much done as possible and so was Pearl. We had set a deadline because of my moving and Pearl starting school. We weren't trying to rush people into making any comments, we just wanted to get the entries out as soon as we could because I'm not going to be around for a while. All I can say is that I'm sorry for all the trouble that it may have caused for a lot of the gamers, but there wasn't much that we could do to stop the inevitable. 

I'm leaving Kansas in less than three days and we are driving 778.16 miles. So in a matter of speaking, this is going to be the last that anyone will hear from me for a while. 

I don't want anyone upset. I just wanted to make sure that we were clear about certain matters. I will see everyone soon, and it may take a while, so I hope that all goes well with everyone. I'll let everyone know how the trip went and I'll see you on the flipside. 

Oh and I don't blame anyone for changing their fandoms. That does happen. *smiles* It's happened with me. I used to be a big X-Men reader and after Layfield took the title, it started to suck, so I can understand when someone says that it's not working for them anymore, so your safe Lina. *smiles* I understand completely. In fact, I think Kadaj is a hottie. XD I'm just not with that fandom. I used to be when I played the game many years ago. I'm just glad that they made it into a movie.

[identity profile] biortine.livejournal.com 2007-09-05 09:43 am (UTC)(link)
You can't please everyone all of the time, Kiddo. All you can do is the best that you can do. Any mortal is allowed to make mistakes and you shouldn't feel guilty because they happen. If others aren't pleased with what you attempt to do, so be it. It's not like you didn't do the very best to make everything work right.



[identity profile] silverfoxninja.livejournal.com 2007-09-05 03:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah I know. I just needed to get that off my chest. I was starting to feel a bit suffocated with all the drama going on. It's not just on LJ, but around me as well.

My neighbor stated that he doesn't like change and he's pretty pissed that we're leaving. He's thinking it's because of him, but that's not the case in it's entirety. He's just a small part of the cause. I'll explain it more when I get there.

[identity profile] nyami-rose1.livejournal.com 2007-09-06 08:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Don't let Lightrobber get to you, Silver. you've done a wonderful job, but it was just a bit to much for her tastes.

... Not everyone likes sparkles and word games XD

No seriously, Lightrobber has her standards and her preferances. if you don't meeet them, then who cares? You're working hard to make the wedding a great experiance- you're doing great- and if she doesn't like it, keep in mind the rest of are very much enjoying ourselves. (I gotta find a way to get Pele to do karaoke... *plots*)

Though the fact you killed Lightrobber's love for Amelda x Kaiba scares me to no end...

Also, I admire you for not ranting a lot on your journal. I'm the complete opposite ^_^"

[identity profile] nyami-rose1.livejournal.com 2007-09-06 08:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Also, I've changed fandoms a lot too. I'm slowly starting to drift towards the little-known anime Le Portrait De Petit Cossette <3 (Which I pimped on my journal since I'ma freak like that XD)

[identity profile] silverfoxninja.livejournal.com 2007-09-06 10:15 pm (UTC)(link)
*laughs* Well, that's cool. I happen to like Ouran High School Host Club and Death Note and I just started getting into Gravitation. Most of those are fairly recent and I'm still a big Speed Racer, Dragonball Z and Yugioh fan. I still visit all the fandoms and I haven't abandoned a single one. I just need to keep my lists updated. *shrugs*

My favorite movies are, the Labarynth, Howl's Moving Catle, Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away.

[identity profile] nyami-rose1.livejournal.com 2007-09-06 10:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah, a Hayao Miyazaki fan! <3 God, that guy's a genius! I love Princess Mononoke too. It had such a great message to it; "Don't kill the forest or it'll kill you".

[identity profile] silverfoxninja.livejournal.com 2007-09-06 11:20 pm (UTC)(link)
I have always been a fan of his work. His whimsical ingenuity has added a lot to my imagination. My very first anime that I ever bought was Nasica and the Valley of the Wind. That's how I became a fan. The story was so strong and I loved the plot.

[identity profile] nyami-rose1.livejournal.com 2007-09-07 12:31 am (UTC)(link)
My friast one was Laputa: Castle in the Sky. Now I have all his movies except Pom Pom Poko and also some other by the guys at Studio Ghibli. And Nasicaa is awsome. I love her little fox squirel- I forgot his name, but he's so cute!

[identity profile] silverfoxninja.livejournal.com 2007-09-07 12:37 am (UTC)(link)
You know, so did I. I can't remember that little creatures name for the life of me and it's one of my favorites. How odd is that.

[identity profile] nyami-rose1.livejournal.com 2007-09-07 01:23 am (UTC)(link)
Not too odd... for me at least. I forget everything ^_^"

Ah, I just looked it up! It's name is Teto! KAWAII!

[identity profile] silverfoxninja.livejournal.com 2007-09-07 01:54 am (UTC)(link)
Aww!! *hugs Teto*

[identity profile] silverfoxninja.livejournal.com 2007-09-06 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
*smiles* Thanks for the compliment, but Pearl did a lot of the work. I can't take all the credit for the wedding.

I realize that Lightrobber has her standards but I was still a little hurt. I can't really be bothered by that anymore. I'm just sorry that she had to go. I suppose it happens when people start changing their minds about certain things.

[identity profile] nyami-rose1.livejournal.com 2007-09-06 11:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, Pearl did most of it, but you helped! You deserve credit; don't be modest (about this, at least *laughs*).

Lightrobber made her descision, don't be hurt. PRing is a group project (and I'm probably not the one to be lecturing you on this, since you've Role-played longer than me, but it needs to be said) and all players really have to flow with the other players choices. Everyone brings thier own ideas and choices to the table. If you aren't happy with those ideas, build upon them, don't just drop out.

(Like me: I'm not so happy about the Rapheal x Zigfried- it makes me squirm- and I have plans to tear thier relationship apart... Mwahahahaha! ... Though I might refrain myself because you're my friend >_>)

I think Lightrobber was wrong to leave instead of talk things out, but the descision's been made, and there's nothing we can do.

[identity profile] silverfoxninja.livejournal.com 2007-09-06 11:25 pm (UTC)(link)
Hey you know, this is what Rp-ing is about. Come up with an idea to tear them apart. This is about the characters not about me as a person. We just act through the characters. *laughs* I wouldn't take offense at all. It's okay really, because the person that's playing Atem wants to tear them apart too, but in his own way.

I agree that she should have some to us as a group instead of just up and leaving, but she made her choice. I just thought it was handled wrong. Just because a plot isn't going your way, use the brain that was given and come up with a way to make it happen. That's part of what life does.

In real life, we are given situations that are tough to handle. RPing is a way to sort through those scenarios is a more controlled but fun setting. It makes us think about how we would handle things if they are presented to us in real life.

[identity profile] nyami-rose1.livejournal.com 2007-09-07 01:13 am (UTC)(link)
Ooh, breaking up Rapheal and Zigfried?! You asked for it! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! >D

Personally, i don't think Zigfried will ever be able to find a 'true love' because of his fickle personality. He just changes too much like a chameleon! That doesn't mean he can't have friends though!

... Wow, that was like, my future in a nutshell that I just wrote...

What's done is done. Lightrobber can mope, and I'll give her sympathy (I'm a mother hen! Lean on my shoulder!), but I won't give her full pardon. I agree. She handled it wrong. Her bad, not ours.

I personally use the internet as way to practice being polite with others. I wouldn't seem like it, from what you've heard, but I'm quite a violent person. I use the internet as a way to learn to deal with annoying people- and seeing as this is the internet, there are a lot of annoying people :P

So yeah, the internet is like a mini, contained version of life. (PRG even more so) You gain friends, you gain enemies; you go through bad times, you go through good times. LIFE!!!

As for the friends part, I think we've formed something resembling a family over at the RP, wouldn't you agree?

[identity profile] silverfoxninja.livejournal.com 2007-09-07 01:53 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I would say so. The more I interact with people on the internet, the more I begin to think about how I handle my own situations outside. It's a good thing too.

Yeah, I agree that the RPG is more like a family. We have been through tough times and good times, and they are all memorable. I have come to view my friends at the comm as family. *hugs* I really appreciate all of you too.

[identity profile] dark-age-pearl.livejournal.com 2007-09-12 12:11 am (UTC)(link)
It's not your job to keep people happy, Silver. People who take on that job always learn the hard way that there is someone somewhere they can't please. I don't mean to sound bitter, but I don't want to see you suffer for it, either.

[identity profile] silverfoxninja.livejournal.com 2007-09-12 03:37 am (UTC)(link)
I understand now. I should have realized that when I started writing Whisper. It's just getting passed all of that that's the hard part.

*hugs* Thanks for the honesty. I appreciate it.

[identity profile] dark-age-pearl.livejournal.com 2007-09-14 06:28 pm (UTC)(link)
o.O? What does Whisper have to do with it?

[identity profile] silverfoxninja.livejournal.com 2007-09-14 06:33 pm (UTC)(link)
It's simple. I was doing things to make people happy and I was writting for the same reason. That's how that comes into play. It's this form of stress that has caused me to put a lot of my life on hold because I had to find what that special something was that made me write and do these things for others, and it boiled down to my own happiness.

Once I get settled in, I will finish what I started and I will also post the new updates on the beta work that you did, after you relook at it of course.

[identity profile] fallenangeldoma.livejournal.com 2007-09-14 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
I thought this entry was about pleasing others (namely someone who wasn't happy with the comm...), not about fanfics. I guess you meant it in a more general sense.

Yeah, you definitely shouldn't be writing fanfics to please others. You can't be truly happy with your fics if you do that. Drabbles for others, yes, but not whole chapter fics! Especially not one as huge as Whisper! *hugs* I do intend to finish beta'ing for you! ^_^;; Don't worry about that!

[identity profile] silverfoxninja.livejournal.com 2007-09-14 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm in no hurry. I have way too much to do at this time, so there is no pressure. Yeah, it was a general statement that I made, but yes, it's along the same lines, just different purposes.