Pressing Forward....

I have a re-newed determination to finish Whisper in the Trees. I have re-edited Chapter 1, which is even better and I've found a better way to revise the story.

Wow, it's certainly taking a lot more out of me than expected. I was beginning to loose the fight in keeping the story and there were even a few times that I wanted to delete it altogether. I didn't want to do that. All that work that I hade invested in the story would be gone in a matter of a few seconds.

I've added some new things to the story that I didn't do in the first one, and there were certainly a lot of holes in it that I didn't know were there. I had to think of myself as the reader and not the author, which was not the approach that I took when I edited and revised it the first two times. Yeah, this is the third time.

I am putting Mishap on hold for awhile, mainly because I want to upload the revised chapters of Whisper first. I took on too much at one time. That's not a good habit to get into.

I have finally fixed the problem with the file sharing program. There was a bug that I failed to notice, which was causing the uploads to fail. It wasn't a virus, but more like an incompatibility issue. I successfully found it and fixed it. It was a lot easier than I thought it was. All I had to do was change a setting. That made me feel a bit stupid when I saw it. *slaps hand to forehead*

Both of my Instant Messenger programs are working very well now. I can now cummunicate and share without any problems. I would like to than Makai-Rahl for the help in volunteering to be my guinea pig. *Smiles Broadly.

My depression is at bay for the time being, but the flashbacks still come at me in waves. They are becoming harder and harder to predict and they are becoming more frequent. I'm still aware of where I am to some degree, but what scares the most is that they happen in the strangest of places. Once in the car while I was on the freeway going over 70 MPH, and another was durring a parent-teacher conference. Not cool. My biggest fear is one of them happening and I can't control it. That can pose a very dangerous problem. Needless to say, I had to stop driving. I relinquished my freedom of the road. It's something that I used to enjoy, which it's now more of a hazard to me.

PTSD is not a matter that can be ignored and the older a person gets, the harder it becomes to control. There are even times I can hear the screams like they were right there next to me. Auditory hallucinations are becoming a bigger problem for me. I use music to drown it out. Hence my large collection of music. 

Anyway, I feel better today than I have in a few days. Writting this stuff down helps in a degree than I thought possible. The moral to this is, Don't be afraid of who you are. Embrace life as the days pass by, bacause they just may be your last. Thinking possitive is the best method, but expect the worst, meaning plan for the worst.