Whisper in the Trees is being revised...

[silver_fox_ninja]

I have managed to revise Chapters 1 through 13. I'm working on revising my work for many reasons;

1) The content wasn't to my specifications and I came to realize that not all people like short fanfics. A good fanfic has a lot of details that should be added which the first run of Whisper seemed to have lacked. I had to go back and add the details that makes the descriptions much deeper than originally written. I thank Pearl for the pointers. 

2) There was a problem with incomplete thoughts. There was a lot of things that I didn't add on the first run that I should have. I wanted to add Amelda/Alister in the fic, but I didn't know how to add him until I read MP. I like all the characters in the series and the Manga, but adding them all too quickly would only clutter the story, and I didn't want that to happen. 

3) There wasn't enough emotional pull that I had hoped for in the first run. Too many people seem to fail to realize that when the main character is used, they forget to add the emotional points of view. My original characters have a lot of personality, and not a single one of them are the supe Mary-Sues that I detest. They all react realistically as well as the main character's reaction are just as realistic. 

4) I felt that there were a lot of things missing in the story, background wise. So a revision is necessary to bring that part out more. Shauna is a very likabale character with very real flaws. I hate to loose that in her.

5) I didn't like the way the story felt after re-reading all 24 chapters! So I have a lot of work ahead of me, but once I'm through, it will be worth every minute that I put into making the story better. Pearl of the Dark Age has been a great help to me in realizing this fault even though it was indirect. I appreciate the help that she has given me and the wonderful and insightful reviews that she has posted for the story.

6) The other problem I encountered is that all the chapters seemed to lack the certain something that grabs the reader. Even though Chapters 3-24 are long and some are even longer, it's like reading a book. I thought long and hard about the changes that needed to be done to make the story flow seemlessly.

I really enjoy writing this story about the Kaiba brother's but what bothers me is that some people, mainly teens, skip around just to read the parts about Seto, but they miss so much more of the story by doing that. I hate reading something in the middle, and that makes a person loose interest.

Another thing that gets me is that I know the chapters are long, but they are written in such a way that if you skip, you will get lost. That's what I liked about Pearl of the Dark Age's MP. It flowed in a way that skipping around would only loose you. I got lost in the literary sense, and that's what I enjoy. I hope to capture that same feeling with Whisper in the Trees.

Those of you that have read it, thank you. I appreciate the time that you have taken out of your busy lives to read it. Even though I say that reviews aren't necessary, which they aren't, I still appreciate the feedback and I will reply.